


A Constant

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Family Issues, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Roommates, best friend Jaehyun, best friend Ten, dance major Winwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 04:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15598683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sicheng already knows what it’s like to be abandoned once and he doesn’t know if he can trust Yuta to not make him feel it again.





	A Constant

"He's coming over."

 Sicheng groans and drops the fork before it reaches his mouth.

"He's bringing you strawberry milk again."

It’s the third time he's getting flavoured milk this week and Sicheng's pretty sure it's not stopping anytime soon. Jaehyun waves his hands animatedly to the person approaching their table and Sicheng already knows who it is without having to turn his head around.

"What are you doing," Sicheng grits out at Jaehyun, who seems to be too happy with the whole situation.

"Welcoming him? Oh come on, I know you like it whenever he does this," Jaehyun remarks, smirking at Sicheng as he says it. 

"I never said that," Sicheng replies adamantly because it's true. He never admitted it out loud for anyone's ears to hear.

"You don't have to," Jaehyun winks at him. "Oh here he comes!"

Sicheng immediately comes up with several escape routes in those few seconds that he has, hiding his head in his pasta being the best one he could think of. As he contemplates doing just that, a small carton of strawberry milk appears in front of him. 

"Got you your favourite flavour," Yuta says cheerfully as he settles himself down beside Sicheng.  He pushes the strawberry milk nearer to Sicheng and motions for him to drink it.

Sicheng picks it up and shakes it in thanks,  giving an awkward smile as a show of appreciation. "Thanks," he says weakly, receiving a beaming smile from Yuta in return.

"No problem! Drink it when you feel sleepy in lectures!" Yuta comments. Sicheng doesn't know whether he should tell him that milk doesn’t help people stay awake like how coffee does. But he doesn’t’ want to break it to Yuta, it feels like he would be telling a kid Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

Yuta then looks down at his watch and frowns. "Well it looks like I’ve got to go, class starting in five. See you back at the apartment Winko-chan," He pinches Sicheng's cheeks and waves him goodbye, slinging his backpack over one shoulder as he makes a leave for class.

" _I got you your favourite flavour Winko-chan_ ," Jaehyun mocks once Yuta's out of sight.

"Oh shut up," Sicheng groans sending Jaehyun a deathly glare.

_"I brought it for you even though I have to rush to class.”_

"Jung Jae do you have a death wish," Sicheng grits out, kicking his legs hard under the table.

"Owwww!" Jaehyun exclaims, glaring at Sicheng as he rubs his shin. "Please, he's been courting you for, like... since forever! Yet you never respond to his approaches."

"You know how he is, and you know me. I'm all for commitment and I don’t think he even knows what commitment means," Sicheng says, the explanation coming out like memory work. He's obviously given the same explanation for more than enough times. 

"He hasn't been in a relationship for half a year! Because he's busy courting _you_ the whole time," Jaehyun emphasizes, hands slamming on the table to make a point.

"Oh spare me. He still goes out to parties and sometimes he doesn’t even come back at night. Sure he buys me my favourite drink but he also flirts with other people in front of me," Sicheng supplies. "So if you think I should give him a chance, tell him to give me clearer signals because it seems to me, he's still not sure of what he wants."

"You don’t have to take things so seriously. Just- I don’t know- give it a try," Jaehyun suggests but his words send in a new wave of emotions in Sicheng because of all people, Jaehyun should know better.

"I can't just give things a try Jaehyun. I need something secure. I need reassurance and confirmation. If me and him don’t work out, I don’t think I can handle having another rejection. You know this better than anyone," Sicheng lets out. "Unless you're telling me I can’t depend on you either."

Jaehyun's face is blank of his previous expression, now ridden with guilt and regret. 

"I didn’t mean it like that. Come on, Sicheng you can depend on me, I’ll be there for you always. I know how tough it was- _is_ \- for you and I'm sorry I ever said that. I just-I don’t know. I guess I just want you to have someone by your side who genuinely cares for you and likes you for who you truly are," Jaehyun explains himself. "Your family they-" 

Sicheng cuts him off. "I know you mean no harm it's just- well things aren't exactly smooth in my life and I really appreciate that you care Jae. But I have myself to depend on. And it’s more than enough. I don’t need another person," Sicheng says as he cleans his lunch tray and keeps his things. He has class in ten minutes at the other end of the building. 

"Yuta's a great guy and so what if I like him? We just don't match," he supplies reasonably, grabbing at his bag and standing. Before Jaehyun can slide in a comment, he immediately continues. "And that’s the end of this conversation.” Sicheng brushes his hands together to get rid of the dust from cleaning up his lunch. "I'll see you around. Professor Park is going to minus off points if I’m late again." He gives an apologetic look to Jaehyun for cutting short the conversation and takes the strawberry milk, putting it carefully in his bag before he's running through the food court hoping to reach the lecture theatre before his professor does. 

He reaches it in time with no professor in sight. He relishes in the small victory, even if he finds himself out of breath. He settles down at an empty seat at the far back and takes out his phone, his screen welcomed by two new text messages. 

  **[13:58] Japanese idiot** **:** Hope the drink helps in lecture ~~ ^_^b

  **[14:02] Idiot Jung :** I'm really sorry for what I said earlier >< 

Sicheng shakes his head at both the messages but he only replies to one. He doesn't really reply to the other one anyway.

 **[14:04] Sicheng :** Dont worry idiot. I still love you. 

 

 --

 

Sicheng goes back to the apartment and he sees Yuta's shoes already in front of the shoe rack, instead of on it as usual. He shakes his head and picks them up to place them on it, at the same time scanning the living room to see if Yuta is there. He doesn’t see or hear anything which means Yuta must be in his room, most probably sleeping or watching some anime. Sicheng drags his feet to his own room and shuts the door, plopping down onto his bed as he buries himself in the comfort of his blankets. He hugs his pillow and closes his eyes, lethargy in his body readily giving itself away to sleep. But he knows he wouldn’t be able to sleep for even one minute because _Yuta_. He waits for it and he hears a door room open and feet sliding against the wooden floor. Then he hears the doorknob of his own door turning and his mattress compresses under the weight of another body. Yuta never strays from routine.

 "You're back!" Yuta exclaims from where he's lying beside Sicheng. His body is turned so that he's facing Sicheng but Sicheng is lying down straight, too lazy to move to give Yuta more space in case he falls off. It’s his bed anyway.

Without opening his eyes, Sicheng replies sleepily, "Yeah I am."

"Did the strawberry milk help you stay awake in lecture?" Yuta asks genuinely.

"Sure did," Sicheng replies, not having the heart to tell him the different functions between milk and caffeine.  

Sicheng thinks it’s weird how Yuta can be so innocent like how he is now, when other people only see him as the life of the party, the one who knows how to go wild and have fun, the one who's always playing around. Sicheng sees him as that too, but he knows Yuta is way more than a guy who simply dates people on and off. Yuta sees how precious people are, see what's special about them and knows how to treat them right. That’s why he has no problem catching people's attention. Including Sicheng’s. But Sicheng won’t allow himself to be lured, even if Yuta has been changing his ways to woo him. He's not blind, but he's also not naive. He needs more to know that Yuta really means it. 

"Glad it did," Yuta replies happily, his fingers poking Sicheng's cheek.  

"Yuta, what did we say about infiltrating my bed and coming near me?"

 "That I should stop doing it because you hate it?" Yuta says.

Because he _likes_ it and if Yuta keeps doing stuff like that, he probably won’t have the self-restrain to hold himself back from kissing Yuta silly and telling Yuta how much he likes him. Even if Yuta does like him back. They just can't work.

"So you do remember," Sicheng sighs and opens his eyes as he turns to look at Yuta. Yuta looks back at him and pouts. 

 "But I missed you."

Sicheng thinks his heart skips a beat.

 "But you see me every day. And I bet you say that to the dozens of people you date too," Sicheng remarks.

"Hey, dozens is an overstatement okay. And I’m not like that anymore. It gets tiring after a while. I’m over it," Yuta replies firmly.

"Tell me again when you mean it." Sicheng yawns.

"I do mean it."

 "You still go to all those parties," Sicheng squints at him, unable to take his words for what they are.

"Doyoung blackmails me into them," Yuta says exhaustedly. "Anyway it’s a good way to loosen up. You should come with me someday. You've been too strung up lately. 

"No thanks. I'm fine being at home."

"Great!” Yuta sits up. “We have some beer at home, I’ll take them out right now and-" 

"Yuta I don’t-"

"You need to loosen up. I've never seen you so strung-tight before. This past few weeks you look like a walking corpse. No, worse than that," Yuta says, worry evident in his voice.

"Fine," Sicheng huffs out. "Only two cans each, at most."

Yuta smiles brightly and he takes Sicheng's face between his two hands and squishes his cheeks. "That's more like it!" 

"You’re hurting my cheeks," Sicheng manages to let out even if it comes out somewhat incoherent.

"But you're so cute. I could just..." Yuta squishes his cheeks harder.

"Kill me?" Sicheng chokes out.

Yuta laughs and relieves him of his pain. "If I did kill you, it’s because you're so cute I couldn't help myself."

Sicheng’s heart speeds up as he takes in the full view of a smiling Nakamoto Yuta in his bed. Smiling only for him. He mentally scolds himself for being a weak idiot to be easily fluttered by a simple line like that.

"You're ridiculous Nakamoto," Sicheng remarks as he gets up from bed. He doesn’t think it’s wise to stay in bed with Yuta any longer. "Come on, the beer's waiting."

An hour later, they're both somewhat buzzed, sitting on the living room couch with a pile of cans on the coffee table. Yuta opens up another can and offers it to Sicheng, who takes it willingly. He then opens another can for himself and swallows down a few gulps. 

 "We're drinking way too much," Sicheng comments. They’re both not fully drunk yet but Sicheng knows they’re getting there.

"Who cares! You gotta have fun once in a while!"

"You would know." Sicheng deadpans. 

Yuta ignores his comment and squints at Sicheng. Sicheng raises an eyebrow in question.

"Let's talk about you tonight," Yuta states, pointing a finger in Sicheng's direction although it's slightly off to the right.

"Me?" Sicheng asks amusedly. "My life is boring and dry as compared to yours, Mr. party pants."

"You are a mystery Winko-chan. Tell me about yourself." 

"I have nut allergies."

Yuta gives him a look. "Come on, I've known you for like over a year and yet it feels like I don't really know you. Don't you trust me?" 

"Of course I do," Sicheng replies immediately. Yuta was one of the few who had helped him when he first came to the university, feeling lost and helpless. Yuta was his over-eager roommate who offered help without hesitation. Even though Jaehyun was there for him all the time and he thanks his lucky stars to have met him, Jaehyun didn’t know what it was like to be far away from home in a foreign country. But Yuta knew and he was there to help whenever Sicheng missed home. Even if home may not miss him back.

 "Then tell me about yourself. Tell me how you were like back at home," Yuta suggests. 

 Sicheng swallows and he doesn’t know if it’s the influence of the alcohol or the build-up of stress and tension from the past few weeks or if it’s the mention of home but he says,

"My parents don’t want me as their son." 

Yuta doesn't speak. It's obvious he wasn't expecting it when he had suggested for Sicheng to talk about himself. The room is silent save for the noise from the washing machine in the kitchen. Yuta shifts at Sicheng's sudden confession but he doesn't show his surprise on his face. In fact his face is void of any emotion. Instead, he reaches out to place his hand over Sicheng's. "Tell me." 

Sicheng steadies himself and pours out his story. "I've always loved dance and my parents thought it was cute at first when I was younger but when I started getting serious about it and asked them to enrol me in dance school, they were angry and did everything they could to change my mind. They felt that dance had no future, especially not for a male." Sicheng explains and Yuta grips his hand tighter to give him encouragement. 

"Luckily for me, my grandma saw the potential I had and enrolled me in. She was my number one supporter along with my sister. But my parents were stubborn and never approved. During my last year in dance school, my grandma passed away and my parents told me to go into business or law when it was time for me to enter university. Of course I couldn't," Sicheng laughs, masking the layers of pain in his heart.

"I told them I would continue dancing and they gave me an ultimatum. As a result, I got a scholarship here, and they no longer call me their son." He takes a deep calming breath. 

"They called me up recently, asking me to come home and study business in China since my dad's getting old and he needs someone to take over the family business. But this is my dream and I want to see it through." Sicheng's voice gets rough and shaky. Yuta continues to hold his hand, providing a comforting warmth to anchor him down. He moves to sit closer to Sicheng and pats his back soothingly.

"I was torn between being accepted back home and making my dreams come true. My dance trainer says offers are coming in for me even when I have two more years left. He sees a bright future for me." Sicheng's voice breaks somewhere in the middle and tears fall slowly and quietly. Sicheng doesn't sob out loud. He wipes at his tears furiously instead. He doesn't deserve to cry because this is what he chose. And he has to accept it.

"I didn’t want to go back home and see no meaning in life, doing something I never liked. So I chose, and now I’m closer to my dream but further away from being accepted back home. My parents were right to abandon a useless son like me."

 Sicheng keeps quiet, he doesn’t make a sound as his tears fall. He doesn’t allow himself to wallow in self-pity in the slightest bit. He keeps wiping his eyes, as if to remove evidence there were tears there at all. He breathes in and out slowly to calm himself and stop the tears from falling. Suddenly there are arms wrapped around his neck. Yuta hugs him tightly and warmly and it triggers a new round of tears. Yuta doesn't let go until minutes have passed and Sicheng has to croak out a "You're gonna kill me if you don't let go."

Yuta pulls back and looks at him. "I'm sorry I didn’t know," Yuta says as he wipes Sicheng's tear-stained cheeks with his hands. 

"It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you before. It’s ok."

Yuta shakes his head. "I'm sorry about how things are back home. But don’t you ever feel that you’re alone. You have Jaehyun, and your dance crew, and you have me so don’t think that the world will end. Things will get better okay? I don’t know how but I know you deserve good things and they will come to you," Yuta says fiercely. 

Sicheng nods and Yuta strokes his back comfortingly. Sicheng's grateful for Yuta and he feels relieved for Yuta to finally know his story. He doesn’t share his story to just anyone so he hopes Yuta knows just how much effort it took to tell him about it. It feels like they've crossed a milestone and that shows just how much Yuta means to him. Yuta hugs him tightly once more and Sicheng thinks Yuta gets it loud and clear.

 

\--

 

Sicheng's sitting in lecture with Jaehyun and Ten, the only lecture the three of them have in common. Sicheng knows Ten since they're in the same dance crew and Jaehyun knows Ten because they’re roommates. Ten knows about Sicheng's story as much as Jaehyun does because Ten was there from the beginning too, being in the same dance major, teaching him moves and bringing him around, hoping to make a home for him out of this foreign country. And Sicheng thinks Ten did a great job because he did find a home, not in the country, but with them. They're his family now. And of course like any other family, he doesn’t tell them sappy stuff like that.

They’re halfway through a three hour lecture when their professor gives them a break. Sicheng makes use of the break to tell them about his talk with Yuta. 

"I told Yuta," he says vaguely from where he's sitting in between them, earning confused expressions from them both.

 "That you like him?" Jaehyun exclaims softly.

 "That he should step up his courting game?" Ten asks. 

"No," Sicheng says exhaustedly. "I told him about y’know, about my family situation."

Ten and Jaehyun look at each other, communicating through their eyes, something Sicheng will never be able to join in. Ten nods at Jaehyun, and Jaehyun nods right back. Sicheng doesn’t even try. 

"Well... that's big. For you especially," Jaehyun says slowly. 

"Yeah, it’s like one giant leap for mankind," Ten comments. 

"I know. I just think I can trust him y’know? He’s helped me a lot in the past and he's changed a lot too. He's not.. he's- well he's different now," Sicheng explains. 

Ten nods. "He's been making a lot of effort to change. _For you_. Does this mean you're finally giving him a chance?"

"Should I?" Sicheng asks hesitantly. "I'm scared he'll go back to his old ways and I’ll just be another one of those people he dates for a while and then breaks up."

 "He's been wooing you for almost six months now," Ten deadpans. "I don't see why you still need assurance."

"No, Sicheng has every right to worry. If Yuta breaks his heart, I’m definitely not having it. I think one rejection from his family is enough. Another one would shatter his heart, Ten, and if that happens I will shatter Yuta’s skull," Jaehyun says threateningly.

 "But it's different this time isn't it? Yuta's been nothing but patient and caring to him. Well he always was since the beginning but it's different now. The way he looks at Sicheng is different. And Sicheng's trusting more of himself to Yuta." Ten says in response to Jaehyun. He turns to Sicheng, "But what’s important is, what do you think about all this?"

Sicheng shifts in his seat. "I mean- I can see that he's trying? And I.. well, I think he's serious about it. I don't think he's playing around anymore."

Ten looks at Jaehyun as if to state his point and Jaehyun maintains his silence, pondering quietly as he looks at Sicheng.

 The professor comes back into the lecture theatre and gets the attention of the students, signalling the end of the break.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Jaehyun says finally, winking at Sicheng right before the professor starts on her slides again. 

Sicheng slumps in his seat, trying to focus back on the lecture but his mind is too far away.

After the lecture, the three of them head towards the food court to get lunch. They spot Yuta and his close friend Doyoung at a table, a box of chocolate biscuits in front of Yuta. Jaehyun nudges Sicheng and points it out to him. Sicheng wills himself not to blush because he's pretty sure the snack is for him. 

Yuta and Doyoung seem to be in the middle of an argument, but then again they always are. As Sicheng, Jaehyun and Ten come nearer, Yuta notices them and welcomes them loudly. Yuta pats the seat beside him for Sicheng and Sicheng obliges.  

"Hey," Yuta says softly.

"Hey yourself," Sicheng replies.

 "I got this for you. I always see you eating them in the apartment." Yuta hands him the small box of chocolate biscuits. Sicheng takes it with a thankful smile. 

Doyoung's voice cuts in. "Semester break's coming up soon, what are your plans? Anything exciting?" He directs his question to the whole group.

"I'm thinking of applying for an internship,"Jaehyun supplies.

"Ugh boring. What about you Ten?" Doyoung directs at Ten.

"I'm going back to Thailand! My mum hasn't stop reminding me to book my flight ticket," Ten shares with them. "I should really do it soon though."

"Nice! Bring me back some of those Thai snacks you brought the last time," Yuta adds in. 

Jaehyun and Doyoung immediately chime in, echoing Yuta's request. Ten agrees just to shut them up because the two of them together can be louder than the whole food court. 

Satisfied, Doyoung then turns towards Sicheng. "And you Sicheng? Are you going back to China?"

It feels as if someone had poured down ice-cold water on him at the mention of his home country. He clears his throat.

 "Are you doing anything this break Doyoung?" Ten questions, trying to avert the attention away from Sicheng.

"I was thinking of visiting China actually. Do a short summer exchange there. I thought maybe Sicheng could show me around," Doyoung looks expectantly at Sicheng.

 Sicheng's palms start to sweat. He doesn't know how to tell Doyoung he's not wanted at home, that his parents don’t welcome him and that he has no reason to go back.

"Actually," Yuta starts as he rests his hand on Sicheng's thigh, "Sicheng's staying here to gain more dancing experience. You know how them dancers are." Yuta laughs.

Sicheng looks down at Yuta's hand and Yuta pats his thigh reassuringly. Sicheng relaxes his shoulders, tension easing out as he finds comfort in the warmth of Yuta's palm seeping through the fabric of his pants.

"Yeah I thought I might pick up a new genre or two over the summer break. The school's bringing in dance experts from around the world to teach us. It'll be a good experience," Sicheng adds after he regains back his composure. 

"Aww man I thought we could have an adventure together. But seems like you’ve got cooler things to do," Doyoung says. 

Ten starts whining about how he’s missing a really big opportunity and how he's jealous of Sicheng, while Jaehyun laughs at him and tries to comfort him by saying that he'll at least be able enjoy the beautiful beaches in Thailand.

"Anyway talking about semester break, there's a party coming up to mark the end of the semester," Doyoung says with a smirk. 

"Count me in!" Ten whoops and high-fives Doyoung.

"Another one? Come on Doyoung," Yuta says tiredly.

"It'll be fun! Taeyong'll be there too. It’s a great opportunity to get to know him all that. Come on, you said he seemed like a decent guy," Doyoung reasons.

Sicheng hums in amusement. Yuta never mentioned a Taeyong before.

"Who's Taeyong?" Jaehyun asks the golden question.

"He's this guy me and Yuta met at a party last month. He's a great catch," Doyoung winks. 

Ten gets excited and Jaehyun immediately demands pictures of the mysterious Taeyong, of which Doyoung unfortunately does not have. 

"I don't know..." Yuta says as he eyes Sicheng silently, waiting on his reaction.

"I think it'll be great if we all go!" Jaehyun says decidedly, looking round the table and stopping at Sicheng with a pleading look on his face.

"Jae..." Sicheng starts.

"Please?" Jaehyun pouts. "The party is in a few weeks, right after our finals. Surely there's nothing to worry about?"

Sicheng groans and he thinks he'll regret it but he agrees in the end and Jaehyun erupts into a cheer with Ten echoing behind.

Yuta turns to him and asks quietly enough only for the two of them to hear. "Are you sure?" 

Sicheng nods and rests his hand above Yuta's. "You'll be there too, right? It'll be fun." 

Yuta seems unsure at first but after further reassurance from Sicheng, Yuta lets the matter go and tunes back into the group conversation. Yuta doesn't remove his hand from Sicheng’s thigh throughout lunch and Sicheng is thankful for it because it anchors him down whenever he gets too anxious. Jaehyun looks at him worriedly after some time but he shakes his head to tell Jaehyun he's alright. Ten glances over every once in a while and Sicheng thinks he's lucky to have them by his side.

 Sicheng picks up the small snack box in front of him and plays with it, not paying attention to anything else but the box and the warmth on his thigh.

 

\-- 

 

It's a Saturday which means there’s no class but it also means Sicheng has dance practice with Ten. With their final performance coming up, they’re working twice as hard to ensure that every move is executed with perfection.

He comes home late in the evening, his shirt drenched with sweat and his body disgustingly sticky. He drops his bag in his room and grabs a fresh set of clothes before heading towards the shower. He comes out about fifteen minutes later, towel around his neck and smelling much nicer than before. 

He pads his way to the kitchen to cook himself up some instant ramen. As he finds for the pot in the kitchen drawers, he hears footsteps coming in to the kitchen.

Yuta stands at the outside of the kitchen counter, near the living room, wearing tight-black jeans and a sleeveless top. His hair is let down naturally and he looks effortlessly good.

"Hey, you're back." Yuta says in greeting, 

Sicheng nods. "You look nice. Going somewhere?"

 Yuta has a pained expression on his face. "Just a bar in town. Doyoung said-” 

"Okay," Sicheng says as he turns around to the sink to fill the pot with water. "Have fun then.”

"Sicheng...." Yuta says as he comes closer, rounding the kitchen counter till he's a few steps away from Sicheng.

"I didn’t want to go I swear but I couldn’t leave Doyoung alone, who knows what he'll be up to when he's shit-faced drunk and-”

"I trust you,” Sicheng says once he's turned around to face Yuta again. Yuta stops midway in his rambling. He puts his right hand over his own chest. 

"I promise I won't stay out all night." _I promise no one-night stands._

"And I promise to be home before midnight." _I won’t drink till the dead of the night and flirt around with people._

Sicheng lets out a breath. He told Yuta he trusts him, so he will. "Okay. Then I'll wait up for you.”

Yuta takes a palm to Sicheng's cheek. "No you're tired, you should get some rest."

Sicheng’s heart skips a beat at the contact. 

 "I want to wait up for you," Sicheng pouts, earning an endearing laugh from Yuta as he pinches Sicheng's cheeks. 

"How many times do I have to say it hurts till you stop doing it," Sicheng whines.

Yuta lets go of his cheeks and moves in to plant a kiss there. Sicheng freezes in his place.

"I'll be back when you wake up," Yuta says before ruffling his hair and making his way out of the apartment.

Sicheng takes a hand to his own cheek, as if he could feel the imprint of Yuta's lips there if he tried hard enough. He calms down his heart but his mind is a whirring mess.

He shakes it off and clears his mind, continuing in his quest to cook ramen. He skypes with his sister after eating and ends up watching reruns of that popular Korean drama Ten watches though he can’t remember what it’s called. He had originally wanted to wait for Yuta but he fell asleep on the couch after one episode. Sometime in the night, Sicheng hears the front door open, indicating that Yuta’s back. He thinks Yuta says something to him from the doorway but he's too sleepy to register anything. Instead he makes himself more comfy on the couch. A minute later, he feels the weight of a blanket draped over him followed by something soft pressing against his forehead. He doesn't think much of it and lets the warmth enveloping him take him away.

 

\--

 

The semester's ended and summer break has just started. Jaehyun and Ten are over at Sicheng's apartment because Yuta's promised to drive them over to the party that Doyoung's mentioned (Yuta gave in after being annoyed by them for two hours straight).

Jaehyun and Ten are in the living room playing a quick round of Mario kart. Sicheng's in his room skyping with his sister when Yuta knocks and enters, looking as handsome as ever. 

"Your sister?" Yuta mouths from where he's sitting in Sicheng's chair at his study table, afraid of interrupting the conversation. Sicheng nods and closes his laptop once he's ended the call and stretches out his legs on the bed.

"You've been talking to her a lot lately," Yuta notes.

"She has some time off recently and wanted to catch up," Sicheng shrugs.

"That's nice," Yuta says warmly. "You look great by the way.”

Sicheng scans himself, looking at his choice of wardrobe. He had thrown on his old skinny jeans and some old flannel on top of a white T-shirt. It's a basic look, if anything.

 "Look who's talking," Sicheng remarks, raising his eyebrows at a dashing Yuta. "Who you planning on picking up tonight?" He asks half-joking, half-serious.

"No one." Yuta answers steadily. 

"Sure."

Yuta sets his gaze firmly on Sicheng.

"Sicheng, I mean it."

"What.”

"I'm looking for no one." And the _'else'_ part at the back of his sentence remains unsaid but Sicheng hears it, the same way Yuta’d say it. Through their eyes.

Sicheng clears his throat. "I think we should have a talk tonight, after the party. I- we need to clear some stuff." Sicheng says.

Yuta simply nods to show he understands. He then gets up and offer his hand to Sicheng. "Come on, don’t we have a party to go to?"

Sicheng smiles and grabs at it as Yuta gives him a smile in return. 

 

\--

 

The party is at some fourth year's house but Doyoung greets them at the door, as if he was the host of the party. It's a big house with a lot of unfamiliar faces, especially for Sicheng. He recognises a few faces here and there but the majority of them are a mystery to him. He follows closely behind Yuta, that is until Doyoung drags him off somewhere to another part of the house. He sticks close to Jaehyun, navigating through the crowd to find some place less crowded and quiet. The booming of the bass will deafen him in no time if he doesn’t move away from the living room. He ends up in the kitchen with Jaehyun. They grab a can of beer each and join in on the toast to the end of the semester with the others in the kitchen.  

Sicheng and Jaehyun hang out in the kitchen for a while, chatting up with those who are there too. After a while, a tall, muscular guy comes up to them and starts chatting them up. He's really loud and funny, not to mention cute, but it's pretty obvious he's more interested in Jaehyun than he is in Sicheng. Which is just as well since Sicheng doesn't plan on finding someone anyway. The guy, Lucas, asks Jaehyun for a dance to which Jaehyun willingly agrees after Sicheng gives him a reassuring nod. Sicheng figures he'll just hang out in the kitchen a while, eating chips and whatever is on the counter until he feels loose enough to go out and dance. Ten is probably out there right now showing off his dance moves. 

He sits on one of the high chairs at the kitchen counter and sips at the alcohol in one of those red cups Jaehyun handed him before he left to dance. 

"Hey! Sicheng!"

Sicheng turns towards where the voice is coming from. He spots a familiar face. "Kun! It's been a while!" he replies excitedly. He hasn't seen Kun in a long time. Kun was one of the Chinese students he met during his first year orientation. 

"Fancy seeing you here," Sicheng says as Kun takes a seat on the high chair beside him.

"Speak for yourself. You said you weren't one for parties," Kun comments.

"Yeah well Jaehyun and Ten wanted to come. Yuta's here too with Doyoung.”

"Yuta, your roommate right?"

Sicheng hums in reply and hands Kun a drink. Kun takes it appreciatively.

"I saw him over at the couch there with another guy." Kun motions with his hand that's holding the cup towards the living room. "They look pretty close. I didn't know Yuta had a boyfriend," Kun states as he takes a few gulps of his drink. 

Sicheng's blood runs cold and there's a sick feeling in his stomach. He tries to laugh it off.

"Well that's Yuta for you," he jokes weakly. The alcohol in his stomach suddenly doesn’t sit so well.  

"It’s nice to see you again Kun but I have to find someone..." Sicheng trails off as he stands and gives Kun a farewell pat on his back. Kun raises his cup in response and Sicheng ventures off to the living room to confirm it with his own two eyes. He dreads every step. 

He pushes through the dancing crowd to get to a less crowded part of the living room and when he successfully manages to squeeze his way there, he gets himself a good view of the couch.  

On one end of the couch, Yuta's sitting extremely close to a particular guy, who looks more or less Yuta's age, wearing a black hoodie and ripped jeans. The guy looks really good, godly, in fact. Sicheng thinks he's going to vomit. 

"Hey Taeyong! Come and dance!" Sicheng hears Doyoung shout from across the living room, and the guy beside Yuta puts up a palm to Doyoung, gesturing for him to wait. He then leans in close to Yuta and whispers something in his ear, the two of them laughing after. They look so chummy together Sicheng doesn't bear to continue looking, but at the same time he can’t make himself turn away. Taeyong then leans in closer and plants a brief kiss on Yuta's cheek before he stands and leaves Yuta to find Doyoung. Sicheng immediately turns around to face the other way, as if he's seen something he shouldn't have. His hands are shaking and he takes deep breaths to steady himself. He makes his way out of the house as fast as possible, pushing past people hastily. Once he's outside, his disappointment morphs into anger. He's angry at Yuta for making him think that he's changed, but he's even angrier at himself for believing it. He's such a fool. He should have known better.

He walks down the street, hugging his flannel closer to his body as he moves as far away from the house as possible. He sends a quick text to Jaehyun and immediately flags down a taxi.

Once he's back at the apartment, he goes straight to his room and with his heart heavy and weary, he tries to sleep it away. He doesn't want to stay awake and dwell on the event of the night.

 

\--

 

Sicheng tosses and turns, trying to make himself fall asleep but it's difficult to do so when there's so many negative emotions in his heart. He hides his head under the pillow and wills himself to forget what he saw. He doesn't know how much time has passed but he hears his room door opening and suddenly there's an extra weight at the end of his bed.

"Hey, you alright?" Yuta asks quietly.

"You left the party early, I couldn't find you anywhere."

Sicheng remains silent, pretending to be sleeping.

"I know you're pretending to sleep Winko-chan. Your face is all scrunched up," Yuta says amusedly.

Sicheng sighs and mumbles into his pillow. "-do you want."

"Why'd you leave?"

 "-wasn't having fun."

 "Why not?" 

"-with Taeyong."

Yuta sighs and reaches over to pull the pillow away from Sicheng's face.

"I can’t hear you. What did you say about Taeyong?"

Sicheng huffs and sits up, leaning against his headboard. "I said why do you care? You had fun with Taeyong and- and you probably enjoyed every minute."

"Where is this coming from?" Yuta frowns, reaching for Sicheng's hand. Sicheng pulls it away before Yuta can reach it.

"Nothing, forget it. Just go to your room Yuta," Sicheng says tiredly.

"No, you said we should talk tonight and I want to talk," Yuta says firmly.

Sicheng had wanted to talk, about them, about moving forward and trusting Yuta but it’s funny how the course of the night had changed his mind completely. He was wrong about Yuta and he's glad he discovered it before it was too late. 

 "There's nothing to talk about," Sicheng says adamantly. 

"Sicheng come on, say what's on your mind." 

 Sicheng sits up straighter. "Okay fine, I'll tell you what's on my mind. I know you like me and I planned on telling you that I like you too. That I wanted to give you a chance. Because I see how you've changed for me and that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done. You do all those things like bringing me milk, lending a listening ear and comforting me and all those stuff. And I allowed myself to open up to you." Sicheng says as he looks sharply at Yuta, regret spilling all over as he recalls how much he thought Yuta had cared.

"I thought we had something going on and when you kissed my cheek and held my hand, I realised how much I really liked you. I thought you were showing me you can commit when you started changing your ways." 

 “SIcheng, I meant everything I did. I was sincere throughout and I changed because I saw how you-”

 "In my life, Yuta, there's nothing constant, not my family, not my skills and not my future.” Sicheng says seriously, his tone heavy. “All those can be gone within a blink of an eye and that’s why when I thought you could be the constant in my life, Yuta I- I was ready to let it happen."

"But obviously I was proven wrong because you still go around flirting with people and letting them kiss you and you expect me-"

"Stop that," Yuta cuts him angrily.

"What," Sicheng asks, not backing down the slightest.

"Stop saying that I'm the same person I was before because I'm not. I've changed because I really like you and I want you." Yuta says crossly.

"I admit I played around in the past but that’s because I was scared people would get tired of me after a long while. So I didn’t want anything serious with anyone. But you, you were different- _are_ different and I, I just need you in my life Sicheng. You've opened up a new world of possibilities for me and I want you to be part of it."

Sicheng shakes his head. "I don’t believe you."

 Yuta tugs his hair in frustration. "Why is it so hard for you to believe me!"

"Because I did! I believed you but I saw you with Taeyong earlier and he kissed you. I thought you’ve been showing me that I could trust you. I did and I was wrong to have done so. You think I can believe you after that?"

"Is that why you-” Yuta runs his hand through his hair exhaustedly. “Look Sicheng. We're not- there’s nothing between me and Taeyong. It was just-"

"Just stop it already." Sicheng cuts him coldly.

"No Sicheng, listen. Taeyong, he-he’s is a clingy drunk okay? He's like that with anyone that happens to be beside him." 

"That doesn't mean-" 

"Yes it does! I don’t like Taeyong! I like you! I’ve always liked you, I liked you then and I like you now and I’ll continue liking you. So please let’s not fight. Please,” Yuta pleads.

“But Taeyong. I saw you two-“

 “He likes Doyoung! Okay? There I said it. God I swore not to tell anyone but he likes Doyoung and Doyoung likes him too. I've been trying to get them together."

Sicheng’s rendered silent by Yuta’s words. Thoughts race through his mind as he tries to piece everything together. As he goes through his thoughts, Yuta tries to reach out for his hand again and this time he doesn’t pull away. 

"I'm sorry," Sicheng whispers, finally breaking the tension between them. “I’m sorry I couldn’t trust you.” Sicheng says, his eyes shiny with tears.

Yuta laughs brings him into a hug. "I'm sorry too.”

"I'm such an idiot,” SIcheng groans. “I’m so sorry."

Yuta pulls back and holds Sicheng's face gingerly. "Stop apologising." He leans in to kiss Sicheng's cheek softly.

 "Yuta... You can't keep kissing my cheek and hugging me and holding my hand if you're not- if we're not anything. I need you to be clear about it." Sicheng says hesitantly.

"What?" Yuta smiles, playing dumb.

"Yuta please I know you know what I mean," Sicheng whines.

 “I don’t,” Yuta says with a playful smile.

 “Fine,” Sicheng huffs. "What are we?"

 "We're friends aren’t we?" 

"That’s all?"

"I sure hope not," Yuta answers playfully.

Sicheng smacks his chest. "I'm serious!" 

"Okay okay fine.” Yuta takes in a deep breath and looks at Sicheng in the eye. “Dong Sicheng, will you be my boyfriend?"

Sicheng doesn’t answer immediately, he thinks he’ll let Yuta wait for it as revenge because he’s petty that way. When Yuta widens his eyes at Sicheng’s lack of response, Sicheng giggles. "Well if you insist."

Yuta smacks Sicheng lightly and moves up the bed to lie down beside Sicheng, intertwining their fingers together.

"So you were jealous huh," he teases, turning to lie on his side such that he faces Sicheng.

 "What are you talking about," Sicheng turns to mimic Yuta's position, feigning ignorance.

"You left early because you were jealous," Yuta says, smiling at a blushing Sicheng.

"So what if I was," Sicheng huffs out, pouting at him.

Yuta laughs and brings his hand to squish Sicheng's cheeks together. A pouting Sicheng is a cute one.

 "Look at you, you're so cute I could just-” 

"Kill me?" Sicheng says out, finding difficulty to talk properly. 

"Kiss you." Yuta says as he lets go of Sicheng's cheeks, his palms remaining there.  

“Then kiss me," Sicheng whispers, as he looks into Yuta’s eyes, his heart beating fast in his chest.

Yuta doesn’t’ hesitate as he brings their lips together. Sicheng smiles against Yuta's lips as Yuta gently cradles his face. Yuta laughs into the kiss and pulls Sicheng closer, kissing him sweetly and deeply.

 

\--

 

"Hey Sicheng! Winko-chan! Babe! Your phone's ringing!" Yuta shouts from the kitchen where he's cooking them dinner.

Sicheng rushes out of his bedroom to the kitchen to take his phone from the kitchen counter. He doesn’t remember how it ended up there but he doesn’t question it. He leaves his phone everywhere around the apartment these days, receiving multiple calls throughout the day for a few weeks now. Yuta doesn’t know who it is, but Sicheng sounds serious every time he picks up the phone. Sicheng grabs his phone and moves towards his room for some privacy. Yuta hears him converse in Chinese.

After a while, Sicheng comes out to a table filled with food, plates and utensils all set. He takes a seat opposite of Yuta. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to help with dinner," Sicheng pouts.

"It's alright. It seemed like you had an important phone call." Yuta remarks. 

“Yeah, that would probably be the last one for a while,” Sicheng says. 

“Why is that? Is everything all right? If you’re in some sort of trouble, you can tell me ok? You know that I’ll be-”

“Relax, it’s just my sister,” Sicheng cuts in.

“Oh.”

 “There’s something I have to tell you,” Sicheng says excitedly, moving to sit beside Yuta instead.

“Okay..?” Yuta says questioningly as his eyes follow Sicheng’s movement. “What is it?” 

Sicheng turns to face Yuta once he’s seated in the chair beside him. “Well... I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been skyping more frequently with my sister and she’s been calling me so many times in a day. We’ve actually been working together on a business project to present to my father. A big one. One where my sister’ll take over if we succeed,” Sicheng explains seriously.

“This morning, my sister presented it to the whole board and they were really impressed by it. My dad finally agreed to hand over the business to her!” Sicheng exclaims happily. 

“That’s great Sicheng! I’m really happy for you and your family,” Yuta tells him genuinely.

“Thank you,” Sicheng pauses as he grabs Yuta’s hands. “But it gets better. Dad really liked what she presented and her outlook for the future of the business. When she revealed that I had helped her throughout the whole process, well you could imagine his reaction.” Sicheng says nervously.

“The phone call just now was my sister telling me that my parents want me to come over and visit them. Yuta, they want to see me again,” Sicheng says, his voice shaky and his eyes gleaming with tears.

Yuta throws his arms around Sicheng, bringing him into a tight hug. “I don’t know what to say. Sicheng this is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to you! I'm really happy for you," Yuta says with all the love in his heart. "You should be proud of yourself. I'm really proud of you."

Sicheng hums appreciatively. "I'm glad things are getting better."

"Me too. And I promise I’ll be there with you every step of the way," Yuta tells him.

"I know," Sicheng smiles. 

Sicheng pulls back and hold’s Yuta by his shoulders. "You say that it's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, but there's something else that's happened and it's just as great." Sicheng tells him quietly.

"What is it?" Yuta asks curiously. 

Sicheng suddenly leans in close to him, his lips ghosting over Yuta’s but not touching. Sicheng looks down at Yuta's lips. "You," he whispers against it and closes the distance.

 

\--

 

Sicheng knows in life, many things are bound to change and things won't last forever. He knows life can be unpredictable in good ways and bad ways, but he also knows that in his life there's Yuta and no matter what happens, he knows that fact will never change. 

 


End file.
